Sometimes we think we know a thing. We talk about it easily in conversation; we toss about its name with great familiarity. Yet when we are asked to define it, we suddenly find ourselves at a loss for words. Such is the case with “Joy.” It’s a short, simple word, and yet, it’s so packed with meaning!

I started this month’s theme bandying it about as if we all had the same meaning in mind when we speak of Joy. But what IS Joy, really? Why is it so difficult to settle on a meaning? Perhaps it’s just as U.S. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said of obscenity: “I know it when I see it.” Or, in this case, I know it when I feel it.

Then again, it’s possible that the sensations I experience that I call “joy” are different from those that someone else may feel.

Wanting to know how those around me experience and describe Joy, I decided to start asking around a bit. This is how I came to have an in-depth conversation about Joy with a woman with foil wrapped around her head.

I was at my hairdresser and posed the question to anyone within earshot, “So, what do you think Joy is?” After a brief moment, the hairdresser at the next chair gave an eloquent answer that I should have written down. (Part of the problem with doing “field” research is that sometimes I’m unable to write stuff down because I’m under the cape getting my bangs trimmed!) Anyway, some sort of chain reaction seemed to happen, because soon, several of the women in the salon were talking about Joy and I couldn’t follow all the conversations.

Then the woman in foil (she was having her hair tinted—not tuning out aliens!) engaged me in talking about her experiences with Joy. She was eager to tell me about times she’d felt Joy, but when I pressed to discover how she felt joy in her body, she fell back on descriptions of happiness, but then agreed that, again, that wasn’t quite it.

For several days, I continued asking those around me to tell me of their understanding of Joy. If you’re one of the dozens of people to whom I posed the Joy question, I thank you for giving me insight. Many—most, actually—responded with a story of a time when they had felt Joy. When I asked them to describe what it felt like in their bodies, most were unable to put that into words. The consensus was that it is greater than happiness, and that it is deep within. Happiness seems to depend upon external events, while Joy is deeply internal—we can experience Joy even as we experience grief and pain.

But I still didn’t feel that I’d answered the question. To get a better handle on what others mean by “Joy,” I resorted to Googling it.

The first of 288 million results is from Oxford: “a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.” Hmmm. No, that doesn’t feel quite “it.” Merriam-Webster takes this stab at it: “the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.” Nope. That really missed the mark for me. Time after time, I discovered that definitions approach Joy, but never really get there. There’s always something lacking.

This, I suppose, is because we are trying to use language to capture a feeling that is difficult to describe. And we confuse it with happiness, delight, elation, thrill, and ecstasy.

Other articles in my search look at Joy from a spiritual perspective, and these, though less concise than dictionary definitions, get closer to the heart of Joy. The first article I came across shed some light on why I was having such difficulty defining Joy. In it, John Piper said, “Definitions are simply descriptions of the way people use words. Words don’t have intrinsic definitions. They are given definitions by the way people use them.” Ah.

Piper goes on to define Joy from a religious perspective: “Christian joy is a good feeling in the soul, produced by the Holy Spirit, as he causes us to see the beauty of Christ in the word and in the world.” He then parses out each portion of that definition, beginning with “feeling.” Joy is a feeling, not a thought or an idea, and it is felt in the very soul. Much of his article is then devoted to how this feeling in the soul is particularly experienced by Christians.

I wondered how people of other faiths would describe Joy, so on I went…

Rabbi Irving Greenberg takes a bold stance when he writes of allowing ourselves to experience Joy as a religious obligation. He says, “The Talmud suggests that in the world to come a person will have to stand judgment for every legitimate pleasure in this life that was renounced.” He goes on to point out that Ecclesiastes “offers the full range of human emotion and behavior” as it teaches us that there is “a time to cry and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:4). We are created to experience a wide range of feelings, and Joy is made holy when we share it with others.

In Hinduism, there is a movement to teach followers to live in Joy. “Ananda” comes from “aa”—from all sides, and “nanda”—happiness or joy. So Ananda literally means joy from all sides, or pure joy.

Claudia Azizah urges her fellow Muslims, “Let’s make an effort and train ourselves to see and feel the joy in our life. And let’s find a reason to rejoice every single day of our life.”

Many Unitarian Universalists make Joy a spiritual practice. According to the Live Oak UU Church website, many connect with Joy through nature, relationship, and creativity, intentionally seeking joyful experiences in order to fill themselves with inspiration.

And in Buddhism, Joy is one of the factors of enlightenment. James Baraz writes, “As one of the seven factors of enlightenment, joy is not only a fruit of awakening but also a prerequisite. Joy creates a spaciousness in the mind that allows us to hold the suffering we experience inside us and around us without becoming overwhelmed, without collapsing into helplessness or despair. It brings inspiration and vitality, dispelling confusion and fear while connecting us with life.”

So—again—what IS Joy?

I feel Joy as a resonance.

I think of tuning my guitar by ear. I begin with the lowest string, the E string. On my guitar, this heaviest string seldom goes out of tune, so I adjust it until it’s “close enough” to true pitch. Then I depress the E string on its fifth fret, which sounds an A. I watch the second string as I pluck the E string. If the second string is in tune with the first, set to the same frequency, it vibrates even though I haven’t touched it. It resonates. But placing my finger ever so lightly on the vibrating string dampens it, and it ceases to make a sound.

Joy is the willingness to allow the heart to resonate with the world around us. We all have the instrument within us; all we must do to feel the vibration of its beautiful music is to let go of whatever is dampening it. (We’ll explore Letting Go next month.)

While happiness is fleeting and interwoven with events and circumstances around us, Joy is accepting What Is, and more than that, allowing it to stir our hearts. We feel it, yes, but it is more than a feeling. It is a practice, a way of being in the world. Joy is carefully tuning our souls to vibrate in sympathy—as a symphony—with all that is our lives.

May you, Dear Reader, feel your heart sing with Joy! And when you do, share it in the world so that others can tune their hearts to the frequency of Joy.

Until next time,