I’ve just finished taking an online quiz that scores how the events in my life right now are influencing my stress level. According to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, developed in 1967, a score over 300 puts a person at 80% risk of illnesses like high blood pressure, heart disease, back pain, depression, anxiety, diabetes, and more. I scored 454.

Most of the factors I calculated into my score are events over which I have little or no control—the death of two friends, both kids leaving the nest, serious health issues with two different family members, starting a new business, divorce, and more. Given my score, it’s a wonder my head isn’t exploding!

In fact, when I check in with myself, I discover that I’m feeling remarkably good—and I haven’t been sick with as much as a cold in quite a long while. So how is it that all the external stressors in my life right now haven’t landed me in the emergency room? More about that in a minute. First, I want to look at what’s happening to the body when it is in stress.

Stress is more than a state of mind: it’s the body’s physiological reaction to a perceived threat. In preparation to fight or flee, the body floods itself with stress hormones like cortisol and  adrenaline. This was great when humans had to make split-second decisions or else be eaten by wild animals. Not so much, though, when it’s a chronic condition based on life events in a modern world.

The body sees all stressors as “threats,” and it only knows how to respond by churning out stress hormones. So sitting at a family holiday meal can, for some folks, produce the same stress response as losing a job or being chased by a rabid dog. Emotional, intellectual, and physical stressors all get the same cortisol and adrenaline.

Those hormones function perfectly in short-term situations, allowing us to have the mental and physical energy needed to perform at our peak. But in modern life, stress hormones don’t any longer prepare us for fending off tigers or outrunning charging hippos—instead, they churn within us and, if they have no other job to do, they can wreak havoc with our bodies, resulting in illness or injury.

I have experienced both illness and injury that I can trace directly back to stress. When I was in college, every semester I would begin to run a fever within a few hours of my last final exam. My body was saying, “Enough is enough! Now it’s time to rest.” I’ve also had injuries that ranged from deep paper cuts to broken toes that were directly related to my stress levels at the time. When I don’t take the time to rest and recover, my body forces me to slow down by coming down with a mysterious 36-hour bug or “accidentally” being injured.

Richard S. Lazarus describes the modern meaning of stress as what we experience when “demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize.” The demands placed upon us can be utterly overwhelming. Even if you aren’t in one of the events classified as a major life stressor, everyday nuisances can accumulate—traffic, media images, and constant noise may contribute to a base level of stress that can lead to what my friend Cristi calls “Low Tolerance Syndrome.” When all the little things add up, the cumulative stress can cause us to overreact to even the smallest of “last straws.”

The good news is this: our bodies are remarkably resilient, and given a chance, the body knows what to do to regain its balance. As I have been going through this challenging time in my life, I’ve been paying attention to what helps me to stay on an even keel. Looking back at Lazarus’s definition of modern stress—when the “demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize”—one word jumps out to me: RESOURCES. I may not be able to reduce the demands placed on me, but I can certainly build up my resources!

These are the RESOURCES I have been using to help me thrive through this turbulent time:

R – Rest in Quiet

Adequate rest is absolutely non-negotiable. A good night’s sleep allows the mind and body to restore itself. But rest is also necessary throughout the day. I recently had a conversation with  someone close to me in which he told me about the stress in his life: pressures at work, a difficult living arrangement, and family and personal health concerns. So he goes from a stressful day at work to a stressful home life, eating poorly and consuming highly-caffeinated energy drinks, and never giving himself a recess from all the stressors on his body.

Even a short break, free from outside sounds and distractions, can bring calm back into our lives. I sometimes take off my shoes and walk in the grass to feel more connected with the earth—more grounded. The sounds of nature are restorative, as is the warmth of the sun on my face or the softness of my dog’s fur in my fingers.

Quiet rest can also be in the form of prayer or meditation—I’ll be talking more about these practices later this month. Keep in mind that the busier and more stressed you are, the more essential is your need for quiet, meditative time.

E – Express Your Feelings

I have the privilege of having amazing teachers who have taught me to tune into the signals my body sends me. When I stop and pay attention, my body is giving me all sorts of feedback that can be useful information. I have learned to hear my body when it needs to be quiet, talk to a friend, or cry. The body doesn’t know how to lie!

Feelings, for the most part, just want to be felt, and stuffing them down makes it harder to work through them later. Knowing how you truly feel and expressing it in healthy ways like crying or talking with a friend can allow you to release it.

So when a friend asks how I’m doing, I take a moment to check in with my body. If my chest feels tight and there’s a lump in my throat, I may give myself permission to cry on her shoulder. If my tummy is soft and relaxed and there’s no tension in my shoulders, I can tell her honestly that right now, I’m doing well.

S – Stay Hydrated and Nourished

During times of stress, we often find ourselves eating comfort foods and consuming increased levels of caffeine or alcohol. But this is exactly what our bodies don’t need! Stress can lead to digestive disorders, while adequate water intake aids in digestion and elimination. Adequate hydration also helps the brain to function better, protects joints and tissues, helps to regulate body temperature, and helps to absorb nutrition. Water can also help fend off illness, improve circulation, and boost energy. All this is needed most especially when we are in stress.

I recently changed my diet to include superfoods that will support me through this time of change. Adding amino acid supplements allowed me to go completely off caffeine and sugar, and my body was happy because it was getting the fuel it needs. By paying careful attention to my nutrition, I’m giving my body every opportunity to recover from the ill effects of stress.

O – Own Your Need for Human Touch

All humans have a need for touch. According to Dr. Sharon Farber, human touch causes our bodies to release oxytocin, the calming hormone. When we are in stress, having contact with another person is critical. A massage, holding hands, or cuddling can reduce stress by bathing our bodies in oxytocin that can counter the stress hormones.

U – Unplug

We live in a time when everything is vying for our attention: phones vibrate, computers bombard us with seemingly urgent messages, televisions stream “breaking news” 24/7. I have begun setting aside time in my morning when I leave my electronics in another room and sit and journal quietly. I listen to the sounds around me, and I listen to my own breathing. Unplugging for even half an hour can make a tremendous difference in the stress you feel.

R – Reach Out to Your Support Network

Friends, family, mentors—whoever they are, wherever they are, reach out to them. Don’t apologize for needing them; one day, they will need you, too, and you will know how to support them because you’ve been there.

C – Create the Right Mindset

First of all, it’s important to give yourself grace. If you’re too stressed out to meet a deadline, try to renegotiate a new deadline that’s more doable. Then don’t beat yourself up about it. I’ve had to do this several times with DoYouMind—I had to let go of expectations of myself that were unrealistic so that I could take the time to rest and rejuvenate.

Then you can ask yourself, “What is my mindset? Am I operating out of Unworthiness? Not-Enoughness? Scarcity? Or am I in Abundance, Blessing, and Generosity?” I know that I can’t write from a place of stress and depletion, so when I need to shift into a place of love and generosity, I give myself grace and reduce the expectations I place on myself.

E – Exercise

Thirty minutes of joyful movement can do wonders! I’m not suggesting heavy-duty workouts that can be physically stressful, but activity that makes the body say “Aaaah.” For me, a bicycle ride is perfect because it allows me to exercise while I feel the sun and smell the earth. Others may enjoy swimming, dancing, walking, or kick-boxing.

S – Shift

I love it when others keep me accountable to my own values! I can’t begin to tell you how often close friends have reminded me to stay centered, or to “pause, center, shift.” When we’re in stress, our perception can become cloudy, but shifting is a way of moving into a different perception, of seeing clearly from our core values.

It can be as simple as pausing a disagreement and telling the other person your intention—your core value and what you hope comes from the interaction. I had a discussion like that this morning, in fact. I went into it with the idea that it might be a hard conversation, but the other person set the tone by saying that she wanted to begin in generosity and grace. At the end of our talk, we revisited that intention and found that we both felt that we had stayed within those values.

Stress, Dear Reader, is an inevitable part of our lives, but it doesn’t have to set us reeling. We can return to our equilibrium. I hope that some of these tips will help you in your journey. Which ideas do you find most helpful? Are there others suggestions you’d make to help others cope with their stress? Please take a moment to comment, then like, share, and tag DoYouMind.life.

Until next time,