This month we’re going to grapple with Enoughness.

When I first uttered the words “I am enough,” it came from facing down my deepest, scariest insecurities, so I thought that I had created that phrase. That I was somehow unique in my secret feelings of Not-Enoughness. That I had stumbled upon a Truth that I needed to share with the world.

Timidly at first, I began to share my “discovery” with friends and quickly realized that almost everyone I talked with shared the same feeling of being Not Enough in some way—Not smart Enough, thin Enough, talented Enough, sexy Enough, pretty Enough—or Not-Enough’s alter ego, Too Much—Too loud, Too tall, Too short, Too bossy, etc., etc., etc. I discovered that this most intimate and personal pain of feeling unsatisfactory to the world, rather than setting me apart from others, actually connects me to all women.

Why is it, I wondered, that women everywhere—talented, intelligent, beautiful women—all seem to share this feeling of inadequacy? Why do we have so many nagging doubts about our bodies, our minds, and the way we exist in the world?

One trip through the checkout line at any grocery store begins to shed light on that: the periodical racks are filled with “women’s magazine” covers displaying photos of luscious cakes alongside the title “Make This Cake for Your Family,” and right underneath that, an article declaring, “Lose Ten Pounds This Week!”

No wonder that, according to Dr. Carolyn Coker Ross, 80% of women in America are unhappy with their physical appearance, and nearly 10 million suffer from an eating disorder. Citing a study conducted by Dove, Huffpost states that 85% of women have opted out of activities because of concerns over their appearance.

There’s big money to be made in keeping women unhappy with their bodies. Melinda Parrish also reported that Americans spend over $60 billion—that’s Sixty Billion Dollars—on weight loss per year. And Alexis Bennett reports that, on average, a woman will spend $15,000 in her lifetime on beauty products—$3,770 on mascara alone. No wonder the global makeup industry is worth over $382 billion!

This month, I want to sit with you in our discomfort as we take a good look at our feelings of Not-Enoughness. I will share my poem “Enough Not-Enoughness,” review Brené Brown’s book I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) and the children’s book I Am Enough by Grace Byers, and delve into some of the roots of our collective dissatisfaction with ourselves.

I encourage you, Dear Reader, to spend some time in October removing the mask you wear and letting yourself be vulnerable to your own inner stories. Gently explore the root causes of any feelings of Not Enough, and get involved in the conversation. Not-Enough is a cloak worn by Shame, and as Brené Brown reminds us, “Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot survive empathy.” Listen and share with compassion and empathy, so that we can all rise together above the floodwaters of Never Enough.

Until next time,